Look on the bright side, 38w 3d.

  Well, I've been up since about 4am.  Ryley woke me up calling for me, and I couldn't go back to sleep because I am having some small contractions.  So, now I've done two loads of laundry and been packing a bag for the girls to take for their overnight stay when the baby is born.  I know the tired is going to hit hard later on today, but its such a pain to lie in bed listening to Carl breath with a thousand thoughts running through my head.
  The end of pregnancy is really coming down to the wire.  I wish I could say yesterday's 38+ week checkup went great, but unfortunately baby Avery is still breech.  I did a lot of crying yesterday, even though I know everything about this outcome is truly out of my hands.  I feel better about it this morning, I know I have done (am doing) everything I can to help her turn and come out as naturally as possible.  I am trying hard to accept whatever path of delivery comes my way.  Yesterday, I was so frustrated and I did a lot of venting about all the research, planning and advocating for myself and a VBAC, just to end up with a breech baby and c-section anyway!  I read only about 2% of babies are still breech at 38 weeks, yet its happened to me twice now!  After some reflection, today I feel good about standing up for myself and insisting on giving labor a shot.  It may not work out for me, but I am proud for giving it a shot.  I go back and see an actual doctor (not my midwife) on Monday and talk about our options.  Basically, if she is still breech by Thursday March 1 (and if I don't go into active labor before then), I am not going to have a whole lot of choice except accept the repeat c-section.  I am still praying hard about it, and I am not going to give up hope yet!  This whole process has been frustrating and liberating, all at the same time!!  Thankfully, no matter what, we will meet our daughter in 6 days or less, so there's something to seriously look forward to!!

  On a lighter, ending note, my sister found the funniest thing and sent it to me.  Seeing as how we are about to welcome a third daughter, it seemed appropriate to share!  Melissa says we should print these off in triplicate! :)

An overview of life!

  We've had so much going on in our lives lately, and add to that, an increase in general exhaustion from baby, I've really made no time to update my blog.  I've had a lot of thoughts and good topics to write about, just no time or energy to do so!  So here we go, a random burst of updates from my mommyhood! :)

Baby update.  I am 36 weeks today, and lately thoughts about the next few weeks have been fairly consuming, so its been nice to stay busy and try to keep my mind off all the possibilities.  As of last Thursday (35w2d) little Avery was still breech.  The midwife assures me its still early to worry, yet I am scheduled for an ultrasound this Thursday to re-check her position.  My right hip has been bothering me anyhow, and since I know Chiropractic care can assist in helping the baby move into the correct position for labor, I went to a local Chiro.  He was really great, it helped my hip tremendously, and I am going back again tomorrow.  The baby still feels breech to me, but what do I know?  Ryley didn't feel breech and she was....  I am also considering the possibility of having a version at the hospital if she doesn't turn on her own.  This is a procedure where a doctor will manually turn her, and I think it scares Carl.  Maybe I won't invite him in the room for that one, LOL!  I am going to stick to my guns and hold out for a vaginal delivery, but if I can't get this little lady in the right position, what I want won't hold much water!  I am just feeling a bit panicky about the uncertainty of it all.  If she was in the right position, all I would have left to worry about would be labor starting and progressing on its own....now it feels like I have this extra set of worries.  My constant prayers boil down to this: ," Please Lord, help me be okay with whatever path you have set forth for the delivery of baby Avery.  I am trying so hard to relent control to you, and I am finding that hard to do."  No matter what, we are all anxiously awaiting her arrival, the girls especially!

We've also been planning a birthday for Ryley.  On the 18th, she turns 3!  This coming weekend, we are going to celebrate.  I figured if we did it early, we would increase our chances of not having to rearrange because of baby!  We are having a "small" family only party at home Saturday, and then we've invited her buddies to go swimming with us Sunday at a local indoor pool.  Ryley-bug is stoked about her Toy Story party, cake and sliding down the froggy water slide!  Its hard to believe three years ago (almost to the day!) we were awaiting her impending arrival!

Lilly continues to grow, change, learn and amaze me.  Sometimes its a bit shocking how much she notices and pays attention!  Apparently the saying, "little pitchers have big ears" is very very true!  Also, a funny story from recently.  One morning, I let Lilly watch a cartoon while I was in the shower and her sister was still sleeping.  Murphy's Law says, my head will be full of suds when I hear my child screaming bloody murder from the other room.  Quite honestly, I think my heart may have stopped beating.  She continued to scream and I was getting out of the shower, when I heard her footsteps flying into the bathroom.  She has huge tears streaming down her face and she screams, " a HUGE spider dropped down from the ceiling and onto my arm!!!!!!!"  I was so relieved, I started laughing and she was mad at me for laughing at her!  All the commotion woke up Ryley, so then I had a bathroom full of kiddos and shampoo still in my hair.  Yeesh!

Lastly, a huge change in our lives, Carl is finally working first shift again!  I was never comfortable writing about how he worked third shift before, I suppose it's not so smart to advertise how you've been home alone at night.  However, now since he is not, I can't tell you how great its been for our family dynamic!  He is happier, sleeping better, and super stoked about the changes and things he is doing at work!  I was so relieved it happened in the time frame it did, I was getting anxious about having a baby at home if he was on third shift still!  It does kind of stink, however, that we will finally get into a good sleeping routine together, only to have a small bundle come along soon and shake that up again!

That doesn't begin to encompass everything, but its a great start!

A Lifetime of Thankfulness

I didn't take part in the whole "30 days of thankfulness" that seemed to sweep through my Facebook feed this month.  This was not because I don't have 1,000,000+1 things to be thankful for, its just that I am a slacker when it comes to keeping up with such things.  It also seems to me, its important to be thankful for all my blessings year-round, not just during the month of November.  That being said, I thought I would jot a few things down that I have to be thankful for this year.

A roof over my head and a working heater to keep us warm.  A husband that works hard to pay for said home and heater, amongst other things.  For his friendship, partnership and love.  Beautiful, healthy, intelligent daughters who brighten my life.  Wonderful friends and an even better family.  A new church family where we feel like we belong and are slowly learning and growing our faith!  A love and appreciation for all the simple things in life.  A 26 week old baby girl growing in my womb.  A loyal boxer and onery kitten that round out our lives.  And more important than all of those things, I am thankful for the One who loves me enough to let me have all these things, who loves me despites all my faults and short comings.  Jesus Christ, whom I am still learning to lean on more and who makes all these things possible!

The side effects of Pregnancy

The other night, I had the T.V. on E! News, which I don't make a habit of watching.  Now I remember why.  I feel like a whale and I HATE seeing fabulous, stylish, trendy women when I feel this way!  I would prefer to assume the whole rest of the world feels the same as me!  Here comes more hatred:  someone was interviewing a black leather mini-skirt clad Hilary Duff.  Who is apparently 20 weeks or so pregnant with her first child.   She was going on and on about how fabulous she felt and how she hadn't been sick at all, hadn't gained ANY weight, yadayadayada!  I promise you this, if my husband didn't love our T.V. almost as much as he loves me, I might have thrown the remote right through it!!  Obviously, this is mostly pregnancy hormones, but seriously?!  Either she is lying, or I have done something to piss of the pregnancy gods!!  Don't get me wrong, I do love being pregnant and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, but it got me to thinking.  So I started to make a list.  All the changes I have experienced while being pregnant.  Here's what I HAD heard about being pregnant before actually experiencing it.  You hear about the "morning" sickness, which must have been named by someone who never actually experienced puking morning, noon and night.  Oh yeah, don't forget the supposed "cravings" or stretch marks.  These were things I had previously associated with pregnancy.  Now that I am halfway done with my third pregnancy, and once I started to jot down pregnancy symptoms and side effects, I couldn't write fast enough!!

  First, there was exhaustion.  Tired doesn't even being to describe this feeling.  Third time around, I sort of felt like I was in a drug induced fog for a little while.  Perhaps it was trying to keep up with two kids, who knows.  Then the sometimes predictable, sometimes fickle, nausea.  This goes hand in hand with the intense smell aversion.  ANYTHING that smelled strongly, and not necessarily bad, was disgusting.  Things that were previously pleasant smelling, now, not so much.  Food aversions, too.  Something I used to love, now sounded disgusting.  Weird dreams, anxiety, swollen hands, feet, legs.  Clothes that don't fit, and not just in the tummy.  Not everyone is blessed with a cute little beach ball belly!  Some of us get big butts, double chins, swollen boobs, etc.  Sore nipples doesn't even being to describe the changes in that area!  Stretch marks?  Not just on your tummy sometimes!  Full lucsious hair?  Maybe, but also, extra hair growth everywhere!  Don't even get me started on the "glowing skin" assumption! Does "glowing" mean acne like a teenager for the first 14 weeks or so, and now roseacea-like irritated skin that's dry and itchy later on?  Oh, the itchy skin!!  Weepy, hormonal and emotional. Vision changes.  Let's not forget what is dubbed as "pregnancy brain".  A once educated-sounding female now sounds a bit like the guy you knew in college who smoked too much pot: unable to recall any information or thoughts that were just in her head!!  And lets not even get started with the pain.  "Round ligament pain" that happens when it stretches as the uterus grows.  Achy feet.  Achy back.  Leg cramps.  Braxton Hicks.  Pelvic pain.  In the last few weeks of my first pregnancy, it started to feel like my pelvic bone was breaking into two pieces.  When I described this pain to my doctor, she just said, "well, that's sort of what's happening!"  Your pubic symphysis, which connects the two halves of your pelvis, is literally stretching wide open, getting ready for labor.  And then the ultimate pain.  Labor!  It is called this for a reason people! 
  After re-reading what I have written, I must sound like a horrible, miserable, ungrateful person.  I know plenty of ladies who either had it easier, worse, or would just feel incredibly blessed to experience the joy of pregnancy.  This is not meant to sound selfish or thankless.  I feel so blessed by God to get to experience the miracle of carrying a child.  All the negatives are momentously worth it.  It sort of makes you feel like super-woman!  Growing a living thing inside you is so cool sometimes, even if it is HARD WORK!  Pregnancy is an awesome experience, despite the good, the bad and the ugly!

Warning:  if you are one of the lucky ones like Hilary Duff, please refrain from commenting on how fabulous and perfect you felt the whole nine months.  Thank you.

The infamous lovey.

   For what its worth, no one at our house has a lovey.  They have names for heaven's sake!  You should address them properly, lest you be harshly corrected by a four year old.  We have what seems like hundreds of stuffed animals and dolls lying around the house.  I wonder what it is about a certain one that makes it so special in a childs eyes?  Why do these few particular animals need to be hidden when the girls older cousin Payton comes for a visit? 

   Lilly has had Georgie the giraffe since she was about 18 months old.  We had stopped at a rest area on a trip to Paducah and she spotted this stuffed giraffe.  Being the frugal bunch that we are, we told her no.  She must have been destined to have that giraffe because we found one identical at the local Paducah thrift store that very same weekend (it was only $2!).  I always assumed Georgie was a boy.  More recently, Lilly informed me it was a nickname and SHE was actually called Georgina.  Duh, mom!  Lilly also treasures a little stuffed doggie called PeeWee.  She also has a blankie she calls silkie that is a yard sale recieving blankie that I cut in two long ago so I could wash one half at a time.  She is old enough not to NEED these items anymore, but she still treasures them like gold.

  Ryley got a stuffed pig for her first Christmas, his name is Pig William (like Olivia's brother).  She also has a little dog called Pearl thats a pink poodle, but her favor has moved of late to a little Ty beenie baby dog called Tracker "he's a basket hound"  she'll say.  She, too has a little silkie taggie blanket I made for her before she was born.  She likes to rub on it as she goes to sleep. 
  I can only imagine what our house is going to be like as we add to our brood, and thus add to the piles of toys and clothes.  But what I can't imagine is how its going to feel years from now, coming across one of these once cherished animals and remembering my babies when they were young.

Introductions!

I figure, first things, first.   I should introduce my important "peeps".  As most moms would agree, I do not put myself first in my life.  Everyone else's needs always seem to come first on a daily basis.  Its something I am always trying to work on, making time for me.  So, I'll start with me.  I realized as I surfed through the billions of pictures I have saved on my computer, I have very few of just me.  The one's I do have a me, obviously I took myself.  You know what they say, if you want something done right, do it  yourself! 

Second, the love of my life.  Carl and I met in a class in college in January 2002.  He was so dang cute and he sat right next to me every Friday morning.  If you went to Eastern Kentucky University between 1999-2003, you know that Thursday nights were a big, fun night!  Friday morning 8 am classes were the pits.  I am not sure I was ever showered or presentable in that class, but somehow I caught his eye.  He stumbled upon me one afternoon in April working the drivethru at Arby's, and as they say, the rest, is history!  We married April 2004 and I am more in love with him every day!

Next, my oldest daughter Lilly (or as she would tell you Lillian Elaine).  She is four, almost five, and its unbelievable how fast these past few years have gone by.  She reminds me so much of myself, not just in looks but in personality and spirit.  She's a soft-hearted soul, a people pleaser and a real leader (a.k.a. bossy).  She's very sensitve and gets her feelings hurt easily.  She's a budding ballerina, and she includes dancer in her extensive list of things she wants to be when she grows up, including chef, horse rider, veterinarian and princess.  I'm glad she was born just after the kindergarden cutoff, or she would be off to school this fall. Momma's not ready for that yet, and I'm glad I get to keep her home with me one more year!

Last, but not least, my daughter Ryley.  She was two in February and is as feisty as her sister is sweet.  They have a few commonalities when it comes to looks and personality, but they are so different!  Ryley is a real sweetheart when she wants to be, but she can be a firecracker!  She's more mischevious than her sister ever was, she's curious, adventurous and scared of nothing (except strangers, of course).  She is so easy to love with a big wide smile and sparkling blue eyes.  I can never stay mad at her very long!  She reminds me so much of her dad, and that makes me love her even more!