6 months and counting.

  When Carl and I married, children (God willing) were a given.  We had some discussions about how many we'd like to have, but never settled on a definite number.  His only input was we definately needed more than one, since he grew up an only child.  (His parents lost his sister when she was only a few weeks old)  I come from a family of four kids, and I have a huge number of cousins with whom I am very close, so having a "big" family has always been something I wanted.  There was no doubt in my mind, when Lilly was born, we would have more.  Lots of people asked if we were done when Ryley came along.  I would say to them, God willing, at least one more!

  Now, our little girl #3 is here, and already having her half year birthday!  Not something particularly exciting to "celebrate" but it feels like another milestone.  I have survived three kids for six months and I have lived to tell the tale!  It has been more joyful and more difficult than I imagined it would be.  I have a few close friends who have two kids and would like more but their husbands all have been using the man-to-man vs. zone defense argument.  There is no doubt, we are outnumbered here!  However, I wouldn't change it for anything. 

  I also have to wonder, if I'd had a son, would I be wondering, "am I really done having kids?"  I was always a tom boy, loved sports and the outdoors.  I always pictured myself raising sons for some reason.  Now here I am, knee deep in princesses, ponies and pink stuff, and loving it!!  A friend of mine, blessed with five beautiful kids said to me once (her youngest a girl), "I really wanted her to be a boy, but I have never been so glad I have her in my life."  Its true, God gives us what we need, not what we want!  Even though I felt the heartache and disappointment when we discovered Avery was a girl, I can not imagine not having her in my life.  I can't picture any other face in her place.  I can't wait to see her grow up with her sisters learning all things girly, and all things tom boy-ish too! 

  Recently, I started tagging winter clothes Avery has already grown out of, and a variety of other baby things, for a local consigment sale.  I have had quite a few weepy moments putting those little baby things on hangers and sending them out my door.  I kept the few that meant the most to me, but really it was monumental, the thought that all my babies weren't tiny babies anymore, and none of them would ever wear this outfit or that outfit again.  It wasn't the clothes, just the memories that choked me up.  I can honestly say (again, unless God sees fit to surprise us) that the Groce baby factory is done making babies.  Its just hard to believe my child bearing days are over.  I have a pang of jealous when my friends talk about their pregnancy, but I can honestly say I don't want to do it again.

  I can also say this: I still want to have a son.  If we survive three kids for a few more months, maybe a few more years, just maybe I can talk my husband into adoption.  Its something thats been on my heart for a while, and I've been praying and thinking maybe this is why God gave me three daughters, so I would pursue adding to our family through adoption.  I guess thats a post for a different day.
  So, pray for us, our family and future decisions, and from mommy to Avery Pearl, happy 6 months baby girl!

Welcome to the world Avery Pearl!

  I figure I should be allowed a few weeks leeway for catching up on my blog, since I have a new baby and three kids now.  I thought, since today was Avery's actual due date, it was an appropriate day to write a quick post about Avery's birth story.
  As you may have read here before, I had a huge desire for a natural, vaginal delivery.  As you also may have read, towards the end of pregnancy, I had a rather uncooperative daughter who refused to stay head down and preferred the breech position.   On Thursday Feb 23rd, I saw my midwife Emily who again confirmed Avery was still head up, complete breech.  I felt pretty defeated, I had huge hopes that she would turn again, and though I knew there was technically still time for her to turn, it just felt like a huge loss. 
  Fast forward to the next morning, 4 am, I was awakened by my first labor contraction.  I tried to go back to sleep, and was unable to because of contractions but also because of the thoughts running through my head.  Slowly but surely, the contractions became closer together and stronger, lasting longer and longer.  I knew in my heart it was the beginning of the real deal.  Sadly, at 38 weeks and 3 days, this should be a wonderful thing, but I was torn.  If labor didn't stop and Avery didn't turn, it meant another c-section.  I knew if I showed up at the hospital with her in the same position as the day before, I would be under the knife in an hour or two.  I just wasn't ready to give in to that yet, and I kept hoping either labor would back down or she would miraculously turn around while in labor (it has been known to happen!).  On the flip side, however, I had NO desire to get to active hard labor if she was still breech.  Why be in pain if the end result is the same?  Eventually, when it because obvious that labor was increasing and not backing down, I summoned Carl home from work and we trekked to the hospital.  I was glad to see Dr. Horn on call, he is a wonderful Christian man, and in prior appointments he had been supportive in my desire for a trial of labor.  However, he confirmed what I already knew, Avery was still breech.  He even agreed to let me labor a while longer at the hospital to see if anything changed.  We did so, but eventually, I decided to throw in the towel.  I won't lie, I was disappointed in the outcome, I wanted so badly to prove I could do it and to have that experience.  However, I am thrilled that I advocated for my wishes during pregnancy, and even more thrilled that Avery got to pick her own birthday!  I had piece of mind knowing that she would be ready to enter the world since my body had started the process all on its own.
  Dr. Horn prayed over myself and Avery, and Carl and my sister Melissa gowned up to join us in the OR.  It is always an awesome day when you welcome a life into the world, but it was extra special to share it with my little sister, who wasn't able to be present at the birth of either of my other girls.  I have some wicked cool pictures and videos of the surgery, which not everyone would appreciate (if you are into that sort of thing, feel free to stop by and check them out-they are a bit gruesome for your average Joe).  I also have some amazing pictures of Avery's birth and the moments that followed, and the feeling of hearing her new born cry won't wear off for some time.  She is quite a sweetheart and really completes our little family.  Avery Pearl was born 2-24-12 at 5:27 pm.  She was 7 lbs, 2 oz, 20 in, and has a TON of dark hair!  Her sisters are so smitten!!  I hope you enjoy her pictures below, I wish blogspot wasn't so slow to upload pictures or I would post a ton more!!



Just after birth!

One week old!

Look on the bright side, 38w 3d.

  Well, I've been up since about 4am.  Ryley woke me up calling for me, and I couldn't go back to sleep because I am having some small contractions.  So, now I've done two loads of laundry and been packing a bag for the girls to take for their overnight stay when the baby is born.  I know the tired is going to hit hard later on today, but its such a pain to lie in bed listening to Carl breath with a thousand thoughts running through my head.
  The end of pregnancy is really coming down to the wire.  I wish I could say yesterday's 38+ week checkup went great, but unfortunately baby Avery is still breech.  I did a lot of crying yesterday, even though I know everything about this outcome is truly out of my hands.  I feel better about it this morning, I know I have done (am doing) everything I can to help her turn and come out as naturally as possible.  I am trying hard to accept whatever path of delivery comes my way.  Yesterday, I was so frustrated and I did a lot of venting about all the research, planning and advocating for myself and a VBAC, just to end up with a breech baby and c-section anyway!  I read only about 2% of babies are still breech at 38 weeks, yet its happened to me twice now!  After some reflection, today I feel good about standing up for myself and insisting on giving labor a shot.  It may not work out for me, but I am proud for giving it a shot.  I go back and see an actual doctor (not my midwife) on Monday and talk about our options.  Basically, if she is still breech by Thursday March 1 (and if I don't go into active labor before then), I am not going to have a whole lot of choice except accept the repeat c-section.  I am still praying hard about it, and I am not going to give up hope yet!  This whole process has been frustrating and liberating, all at the same time!!  Thankfully, no matter what, we will meet our daughter in 6 days or less, so there's something to seriously look forward to!!

  On a lighter, ending note, my sister found the funniest thing and sent it to me.  Seeing as how we are about to welcome a third daughter, it seemed appropriate to share!  Melissa says we should print these off in triplicate! :)

Happy Third Birthday Ryley!

   Three years ago today, Carl and I were cuddling our newest little bundle, Ryley Jane.  She was born at 3:58 am, after laboring all day the day before, only to come to the hospital a little after midnight to discover she was breech.  Hard to believe three years has gone by, and its totally surreal to be expecting Ryley a little sister any day now.  I can't believe my baby is going to be a big sister. 
  We hosted a family party last Saturday, to ensure we wouldn't "miss" her birthday by being in the hospital with Avery.  Ryley had so much fun celebrating Toy Story style!  I love her sweet, stubborn spirit and intelligent, observant mind.  She is such a joy to raise!!  Here are some highlights of our birthday celebration!

Her cake mommy and Aunt Rye made!  She was so proud!

Her Toy Story sidewalk chalks from Payton and Paxton!

 One of her favorite presents, a balloon bouquet from her Aunt Lissa (courtesy of her job at Select Suzuki)

Happy third birthday to my blue eyed girl!  Dad and I love you so much!!



An overview of life!

  We've had so much going on in our lives lately, and add to that, an increase in general exhaustion from baby, I've really made no time to update my blog.  I've had a lot of thoughts and good topics to write about, just no time or energy to do so!  So here we go, a random burst of updates from my mommyhood! :)

Baby update.  I am 36 weeks today, and lately thoughts about the next few weeks have been fairly consuming, so its been nice to stay busy and try to keep my mind off all the possibilities.  As of last Thursday (35w2d) little Avery was still breech.  The midwife assures me its still early to worry, yet I am scheduled for an ultrasound this Thursday to re-check her position.  My right hip has been bothering me anyhow, and since I know Chiropractic care can assist in helping the baby move into the correct position for labor, I went to a local Chiro.  He was really great, it helped my hip tremendously, and I am going back again tomorrow.  The baby still feels breech to me, but what do I know?  Ryley didn't feel breech and she was....  I am also considering the possibility of having a version at the hospital if she doesn't turn on her own.  This is a procedure where a doctor will manually turn her, and I think it scares Carl.  Maybe I won't invite him in the room for that one, LOL!  I am going to stick to my guns and hold out for a vaginal delivery, but if I can't get this little lady in the right position, what I want won't hold much water!  I am just feeling a bit panicky about the uncertainty of it all.  If she was in the right position, all I would have left to worry about would be labor starting and progressing on its own....now it feels like I have this extra set of worries.  My constant prayers boil down to this: ," Please Lord, help me be okay with whatever path you have set forth for the delivery of baby Avery.  I am trying so hard to relent control to you, and I am finding that hard to do."  No matter what, we are all anxiously awaiting her arrival, the girls especially!

We've also been planning a birthday for Ryley.  On the 18th, she turns 3!  This coming weekend, we are going to celebrate.  I figured if we did it early, we would increase our chances of not having to rearrange because of baby!  We are having a "small" family only party at home Saturday, and then we've invited her buddies to go swimming with us Sunday at a local indoor pool.  Ryley-bug is stoked about her Toy Story party, cake and sliding down the froggy water slide!  Its hard to believe three years ago (almost to the day!) we were awaiting her impending arrival!

Lilly continues to grow, change, learn and amaze me.  Sometimes its a bit shocking how much she notices and pays attention!  Apparently the saying, "little pitchers have big ears" is very very true!  Also, a funny story from recently.  One morning, I let Lilly watch a cartoon while I was in the shower and her sister was still sleeping.  Murphy's Law says, my head will be full of suds when I hear my child screaming bloody murder from the other room.  Quite honestly, I think my heart may have stopped beating.  She continued to scream and I was getting out of the shower, when I heard her footsteps flying into the bathroom.  She has huge tears streaming down her face and she screams, " a HUGE spider dropped down from the ceiling and onto my arm!!!!!!!"  I was so relieved, I started laughing and she was mad at me for laughing at her!  All the commotion woke up Ryley, so then I had a bathroom full of kiddos and shampoo still in my hair.  Yeesh!

Lastly, a huge change in our lives, Carl is finally working first shift again!  I was never comfortable writing about how he worked third shift before, I suppose it's not so smart to advertise how you've been home alone at night.  However, now since he is not, I can't tell you how great its been for our family dynamic!  He is happier, sleeping better, and super stoked about the changes and things he is doing at work!  I was so relieved it happened in the time frame it did, I was getting anxious about having a baby at home if he was on third shift still!  It does kind of stink, however, that we will finally get into a good sleeping routine together, only to have a small bundle come along soon and shake that up again!

That doesn't begin to encompass everything, but its a great start!

Time crunch!

  Yesterday, I realized that today would be January 18th.  In one month, my little Ryley is going to turn three!  This is unbelievable by itself, but then I realized that Ryley was due on almost exactly the same day baby Avery is.  Know what that means?  She could be born in one month from today?!  Or earlier, or later, depending, but it really freaked me out a little!  Its not as if we haven't been preparing for her arrival, and its not like a surprise or something, it just really hit home how close it is getting!  Both girls were born at or right around 38 weeks, so I wonder what the odds are that Avery will be born around then too?  Or will she keep me waiting for another two weeks?  I am getting excited and a little nervous!  Its still hard to believe I am going to be mommy to three little princesses in such a short period of time!  I also can't believe my "baby" isn't really a baby anymore and is going to be three years old.  I just don't like how fast its all going by!

Lilly turns five!

A little trip down memory lane to celebrate my Lilly girl's fifth birthday! 

Lillian Elaine born 10-10-06, 7 pounds,
2 ounces, 19 inches at 9:56 pm!

First birthday!

Second birthday!

Third birthday!  (Celebrating at the beach!)

Fourth birthday!  (10-10-10 first weekend in our new house!)

Fifth birthday!

It is a little sad to scroll through and really see how much she has grown and changed!  She has been such a joy in our lives and is so smart and fun to be around!  She asked today since she was 5 now, could she go to Kindergarden now?  Thankfully, I can still wait on that one!  Happy Birthday Lilly girl!  Mom loves you!!