Friday, February 17, 2012

A horrible week!

What a week it has been!  This past weekend we celebrated Ryley's birthday (a week early) with a small family party Saturday evening, and she had so much fun!  We were slated to take her swimming with her buddies Sunday afternoon, but Saturday night, I started into a stomach bug that left me very depleted!  Lilly started getting sick Sunday morning, so Daddy stayed home with the sickos and Aunt Lissa saved the day and took Ryley swimming anyways!  I missed work Monday, then MOPS and an appointment on Tuesday, and I thought for sure I would be getting back to normal!  But no!  Still sick all night Tuesday night and into Wednesday, still miserable!  So no work for me Wednesday, so next week I am going to have a blank paycheck! :(  Bummer!  Thursday I was starting to feel more human, and was able to make it to my doctors appointment.  I saw a student midwife first who said she thought the baby was still head down and that my cervix was dilated 1cm and 50% effaced.  However, she found baby's heart rate very high in my abdomen, which usually only means one thing.  Yup.  That's right.  She's breech again.  The regular midwife came in afterwards with a hand held ultrasound and confirmed the news.  How can this be my luck?!  I prayed so hard for her to turn so I could have a chance at a vaginal birth, and after all the elation from last week, I felt so down and upset.  I know she still has time to turn (again) but I am just so frustrated.  I am feeling pressured from the doctors office to go on and schedule a c-section for March 1st, and I guess I just have to hope and pray that Avery decides to turn again AND that I go into labor pretty much on my own before then so I don't have to fight them over it!  Before, I was hoping and praying for labor to start any minute, now I am afraid to wish for it, because if she is still breech, I am going to end up in surgery anyhow.  I am going to keep going to the chiropractor and keep doing the stretches and exercises that helped her turn the first time.  I am just really having trouble staying positive, and I can't seem to get this sense of dread I have developed about the whole situation.  My resolve is crumbling, and I don't know what else to do except pray. 

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