Friday, February 24, 2012

Look on the bright side, 38w 3d.

  Well, I've been up since about 4am.  Ryley woke me up calling for me, and I couldn't go back to sleep because I am having some small contractions.  So, now I've done two loads of laundry and been packing a bag for the girls to take for their overnight stay when the baby is born.  I know the tired is going to hit hard later on today, but its such a pain to lie in bed listening to Carl breath with a thousand thoughts running through my head.
  The end of pregnancy is really coming down to the wire.  I wish I could say yesterday's 38+ week checkup went great, but unfortunately baby Avery is still breech.  I did a lot of crying yesterday, even though I know everything about this outcome is truly out of my hands.  I feel better about it this morning, I know I have done (am doing) everything I can to help her turn and come out as naturally as possible.  I am trying hard to accept whatever path of delivery comes my way.  Yesterday, I was so frustrated and I did a lot of venting about all the research, planning and advocating for myself and a VBAC, just to end up with a breech baby and c-section anyway!  I read only about 2% of babies are still breech at 38 weeks, yet its happened to me twice now!  After some reflection, today I feel good about standing up for myself and insisting on giving labor a shot.  It may not work out for me, but I am proud for giving it a shot.  I go back and see an actual doctor (not my midwife) on Monday and talk about our options.  Basically, if she is still breech by Thursday March 1 (and if I don't go into active labor before then), I am not going to have a whole lot of choice except accept the repeat c-section.  I am still praying hard about it, and I am not going to give up hope yet!  This whole process has been frustrating and liberating, all at the same time!!  Thankfully, no matter what, we will meet our daughter in 6 days or less, so there's something to seriously look forward to!!

  On a lighter, ending note, my sister found the funniest thing and sent it to me.  Seeing as how we are about to welcome a third daughter, it seemed appropriate to share!  Melissa says we should print these off in triplicate! :)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Happy Third Birthday Ryley!

   Three years ago today, Carl and I were cuddling our newest little bundle, Ryley Jane.  She was born at 3:58 am, after laboring all day the day before, only to come to the hospital a little after midnight to discover she was breech.  Hard to believe three years has gone by, and its totally surreal to be expecting Ryley a little sister any day now.  I can't believe my baby is going to be a big sister. 
  We hosted a family party last Saturday, to ensure we wouldn't "miss" her birthday by being in the hospital with Avery.  Ryley had so much fun celebrating Toy Story style!  I love her sweet, stubborn spirit and intelligent, observant mind.  She is such a joy to raise!!  Here are some highlights of our birthday celebration!

Her cake mommy and Aunt Rye made!  She was so proud!

Her Toy Story sidewalk chalks from Payton and Paxton!

 One of her favorite presents, a balloon bouquet from her Aunt Lissa (courtesy of her job at Select Suzuki)

Happy third birthday to my blue eyed girl!  Dad and I love you so much!!

Friday, February 17, 2012

A horrible week!

What a week it has been!  This past weekend we celebrated Ryley's birthday (a week early) with a small family party Saturday evening, and she had so much fun!  We were slated to take her swimming with her buddies Sunday afternoon, but Saturday night, I started into a stomach bug that left me very depleted!  Lilly started getting sick Sunday morning, so Daddy stayed home with the sickos and Aunt Lissa saved the day and took Ryley swimming anyways!  I missed work Monday, then MOPS and an appointment on Tuesday, and I thought for sure I would be getting back to normal!  But no!  Still sick all night Tuesday night and into Wednesday, still miserable!  So no work for me Wednesday, so next week I am going to have a blank paycheck! :(  Bummer!  Thursday I was starting to feel more human, and was able to make it to my doctors appointment.  I saw a student midwife first who said she thought the baby was still head down and that my cervix was dilated 1cm and 50% effaced.  However, she found baby's heart rate very high in my abdomen, which usually only means one thing.  Yup.  That's right.  She's breech again.  The regular midwife came in afterwards with a hand held ultrasound and confirmed the news.  How can this be my luck?!  I prayed so hard for her to turn so I could have a chance at a vaginal birth, and after all the elation from last week, I felt so down and upset.  I know she still has time to turn (again) but I am just so frustrated.  I am feeling pressured from the doctors office to go on and schedule a c-section for March 1st, and I guess I just have to hope and pray that Avery decides to turn again AND that I go into labor pretty much on my own before then so I don't have to fight them over it!  Before, I was hoping and praying for labor to start any minute, now I am afraid to wish for it, because if she is still breech, I am going to end up in surgery anyhow.  I am going to keep going to the chiropractor and keep doing the stretches and exercises that helped her turn the first time.  I am just really having trouble staying positive, and I can't seem to get this sense of dread I have developed about the whole situation.  My resolve is crumbling, and I don't know what else to do except pray. 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

An update!

Likely, you are tired of hearing all about baby Avery.  When you aren't expecting a baby, it kind of gets old when someone is constantly posting or talking about it.  However, we have so many friends and family "rooting" for us and praying for us, I just wanted to share with you an update after my appointment today.  We waited forever for the ultrasound today, but turns out, the wait was well worth it!  Miraculously, today Avery was vertex and posterior, meaning she was not breech, head down and facing my back!  The perfect position for labor!!  I was super thrilled!  The tech actually apologized about not being able to get good pictures of her face.  I told her I thought it was a trade-off I'd make any day, you can't see her face because she's engaged where she needs to be!  Two nights ago, the baby was making some pretty big movements but nothing that had me convinced she had flipped.  She measured 6 pounds, 7 ounces today, and with the 37 week mark fast approaching, its so nice to be able to think about her being healthy and full term now!  Its so wonderful to be able to start pushing the worry of a preemie baby out of your head and focus on safe delivery.  In fact, the day before my water broke with Lilly, Carl took me on a four wheeler ride.  Sounds like pretty brutal way to help labor along, and it was mighty uncomfortable!  However, my water broke the next day and Lilly was born the day after that!  So today, when we left the doctors office, Carl says, "sounds like it's time to head out the farm for a ride on the gator."  I've said for so long, I want this pregnancy to last "forever" just to enjoy my last moments of this stage of my life.  But now, I am finally getting uncomfortable enough to say, its time to start trying to move things along!  Its so exciting to think about meeting her in just a few short weeks!!  And for anyone who maybe curious, myself included, she is still a she! :)  No surprise boy parts the tech assures me!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

An overview of life!

  We've had so much going on in our lives lately, and add to that, an increase in general exhaustion from baby, I've really made no time to update my blog.  I've had a lot of thoughts and good topics to write about, just no time or energy to do so!  So here we go, a random burst of updates from my mommyhood! :)

Baby update.  I am 36 weeks today, and lately thoughts about the next few weeks have been fairly consuming, so its been nice to stay busy and try to keep my mind off all the possibilities.  As of last Thursday (35w2d) little Avery was still breech.  The midwife assures me its still early to worry, yet I am scheduled for an ultrasound this Thursday to re-check her position.  My right hip has been bothering me anyhow, and since I know Chiropractic care can assist in helping the baby move into the correct position for labor, I went to a local Chiro.  He was really great, it helped my hip tremendously, and I am going back again tomorrow.  The baby still feels breech to me, but what do I know?  Ryley didn't feel breech and she was....  I am also considering the possibility of having a version at the hospital if she doesn't turn on her own.  This is a procedure where a doctor will manually turn her, and I think it scares Carl.  Maybe I won't invite him in the room for that one, LOL!  I am going to stick to my guns and hold out for a vaginal delivery, but if I can't get this little lady in the right position, what I want won't hold much water!  I am just feeling a bit panicky about the uncertainty of it all.  If she was in the right position, all I would have left to worry about would be labor starting and progressing on its it feels like I have this extra set of worries.  My constant prayers boil down to this: ," Please Lord, help me be okay with whatever path you have set forth for the delivery of baby Avery.  I am trying so hard to relent control to you, and I am finding that hard to do."  No matter what, we are all anxiously awaiting her arrival, the girls especially!

We've also been planning a birthday for Ryley.  On the 18th, she turns 3!  This coming weekend, we are going to celebrate.  I figured if we did it early, we would increase our chances of not having to rearrange because of baby!  We are having a "small" family only party at home Saturday, and then we've invited her buddies to go swimming with us Sunday at a local indoor pool.  Ryley-bug is stoked about her Toy Story party, cake and sliding down the froggy water slide!  Its hard to believe three years ago (almost to the day!) we were awaiting her impending arrival!

Lilly continues to grow, change, learn and amaze me.  Sometimes its a bit shocking how much she notices and pays attention!  Apparently the saying, "little pitchers have big ears" is very very true!  Also, a funny story from recently.  One morning, I let Lilly watch a cartoon while I was in the shower and her sister was still sleeping.  Murphy's Law says, my head will be full of suds when I hear my child screaming bloody murder from the other room.  Quite honestly, I think my heart may have stopped beating.  She continued to scream and I was getting out of the shower, when I heard her footsteps flying into the bathroom.  She has huge tears streaming down her face and she screams, " a HUGE spider dropped down from the ceiling and onto my arm!!!!!!!"  I was so relieved, I started laughing and she was mad at me for laughing at her!  All the commotion woke up Ryley, so then I had a bathroom full of kiddos and shampoo still in my hair.  Yeesh!

Lastly, a huge change in our lives, Carl is finally working first shift again!  I was never comfortable writing about how he worked third shift before, I suppose it's not so smart to advertise how you've been home alone at night.  However, now since he is not, I can't tell you how great its been for our family dynamic!  He is happier, sleeping better, and super stoked about the changes and things he is doing at work!  I was so relieved it happened in the time frame it did, I was getting anxious about having a baby at home if he was on third shift still!  It does kind of stink, however, that we will finally get into a good sleeping routine together, only to have a small bundle come along soon and shake that up again!

That doesn't begin to encompass everything, but its a great start!