One Year Ago....

  Exactly one year ago today, the reality that our whole world was about to change was barely sinking in.  One year ago came the test that read, "pregnant".  June 28, 2011 was the day we knew our family was going to grow by two more feet.  Our Avery was coming, though we didn't know "it" was a she yet.  Somedays, I feel like that was lightyears ago, and other days it feels like the past year has flown by.  I can't believe a year ago we were trying to wrap our heads around the idea of having three little ones, and now we have been living it for four months.  Its still amazing how little Avery has changed our family for the better.  She is such a sweet natured soul, quick to smile and so easy going.  I can't imagine our lives without her.  Though I can't say I look forward to the teenage years in any way, I do look forward to watching my girls grow and change.  I look forward to watching them develop as sisters.  I know how close my own sister and I are, I can only imagine how impossibly close they will all three be in the years to come.  It warms my heart, and I am glad they will always have each other. 

A Vacation First!

  Today, Carl and I set off on our first ever (mini) vacation without kids.  It is exciting, well-needed but sadness and anxiety provoking!  I got teary a little all day yesterday thinking about leaving them behind for four days!  However, I know they are in great hands, and I know we really need this.  I read everywhere about nurturing your marriage to the benefit of your children.  I guess its one thing to say, and a whole other thing to do.  I am really looking forward to it, but I will be glad when the "goodbye" moment is over!  As a good friend told me, the kids are going to be here when you get back, so you might as well enjoy it!  I feel really blessed to have people who are willing to watch our kiddos for such a long period of time (and our dog and cat!).  The girls at work were questioning me, "where are you going?"  My boss replied, "they are going alone, does it really matter?"  SO TRUE! 

My first book review!~read and win a copy!

   A few months ago, MOPS posted on their Facebook page an opportunity to join in their Mom Blogger Book Tour.  If you had an active blog, and were willing to read, review and post on your blog, they would mail you two free copies of Tracey Bianchi's Mom Connection: Creating Vibrant Relationships in the Midst of Motherhood.  Two copies, one to read and one to give away!!  So guess what?!  I joined, read and now I am reviewing the book.  It felt a bit like a high school assignment to write a book review, but I really enjoyed reading Bianchi's book!   Read on for a chance to win a copy of your own!!

Check out how ear-marked and note-filled my copy is!!

  The author brilliantly divided up her chapters into sub chapters and those, into what I am calling mini-chapters.  This made her book very easy to read, with short one-half to one page mini-chapters.  Easy for a busy momma like me to squeeze in some reading!  Bianichi is incredibly relatable and knowledgeable, without being condescending.  She made me feel drawn into her stories, ideas and solutions, and really made me feel like bringing some changes into my life was completely doable!!  In fact, one of my favorite mini-chapter headings was titled Never Alone But Lonely. This really spoke to my heart, I could have written that passage when Lilly (my oldest) was a newborn.  Becoming a MOPS mom has helped, but even five years and three kids later, its very easy to feel overwhelmingly crowded at home, but still very lonely.  Bianchi offers ideas on how to live intentionally, offering real world inspiration for all moms.  Even if you feel like you are already living a wonderfully connected life full of meaningful relationships, this book still has something to offer you.  The author reminds us that even while "we may have connected lives, not everyone has that same treasure.  Many of us moms are lonely, so reaching out from your place of abundance helps tremendously."  What great advice for all of us.  Just a small smile or kind word for the mom struggling with her child in the checkout line may make her day.  Making a meal for a mom with a new baby, or a phone call to the new mom down the block.  Offering help to the obviously overwhelmed momma at the doctors office or shopping mall.  All these ideas can be a starting block for investing in new and deeper relationships among other moms.  The ideas and narratives of Bianchi's book really were inspiring, fun to read and have been easy to incorporate into my own life and family.  I encourage you to pick up a copy and read it yourself!  Better yet, follow me over to The Playdate Crashers for a chance to win a free copy!  My friends Krista and Jamie are more expert than I at the give-away process, so they've offered to post my review on their blog as well as the run the randomized give-away!!  If you are interested on more info about the author, Tracey Bianchi, feel free to check out her website and blog at http://traceybianchi.com/!!

 

Time Warp of Life

I started the following post May 6th, 2012:
    I'm a little sad that it's taken me so long to write another blog post.  I want so bad to be "good" at keeping up with this blog!  On a daily basis, something happens in my life or in my head that makes me think up a good idea for a blog post.  Of course, life has just gotten in the way of taking those ideas and thoughts and putting them to paper (or rather a computer screen).  Days are filled with lots of activities, lots of them done one handed, and its pretty difficult to type while cradling a little one!  At the end of the day, all I want to do is fall into bed and I have no interest in checking my email or browsing through my Facebook or writing a blog post!!  For some reason tonight I felt like catching up on things and I didn't realize how far behind I was!! 

Avery at 8 weeks old!

Ryley with her hero, Buzz Lightyear!!

Lilly playing Spring Soccer for the Raptors!

  Now, its the 14th of May and time just keeps slipping away from me!  I didn't even finish my "I haven't posted in forever" post!  I really hate how long blogspot takes to upload photos, or I would post considerably more pictures!  Since the last time I posted, Carl and I celebrated our 8 year anniversary.  Avery has turned two months old, and now is coming up on the 12 week old mark!  She is sleeping through the night most nights and is just a sweetheart, smiling and cooing at us all the time!  I was even blessed with hearing her first little giggle recently!  My nephew Paxton celebrated his first birthday in April and my oldest nephew Payton lost his first tooth!  We've taken Ryley and Lilly to see Toy Story on Ice, which was cute!  Ryley loved seeing all her favorite characters up close and personal!  I registered Lilly for kindergarden and she cannot wait to start school!  Just three more months at home with all three of my girls!  Also, Lilly has played spring soccer, and though it added another "to do" item on our growing list, she really seems to enjoy it.  Its pretty entertaining to watch five year olds chase a ball around!  

  Life just bustles on an an alarming pace!  Keeping up with my blog and journal posts has fallen way low on my totem pole of importance, but I really am going to try to keep up with this!  Its been a fun way to compile little milestones in the course of our life!  I keep a little scrap piece of paper near my bed where I can write little things down at the end of the day, and later transfer them to paper (and in this case, computer!).  Hopefully it won't be so long again before I find the time and energy to post again!

A March Madness Love Story

  I realize not everyone loves college basketball and March Madness season.  My husband and I are big sports fans in general and there is usually something important to watch nearly every season of the year.  To me, as far as sports go, nothing is more fun, exciting and anxiety provoking than college basketball during March.  I guess it helps to be a Kentucky Wildcats fan, who play in the NCAA tournament (nearly) every single year.  Interestingly enough, my husband is not a Cats fan (*gasp* I know!)  but is an arch rival Louisville Cardinals fan (*double gasp!*).  Our story of love is tied to this rivalry and I thought this time of year was a good time to tell it. 

  In January 2002, I was enrolled in a vehicle extrication class that was necessary to complete my Emergency Medicine degree from Eastern.  It was actually a pretty cool class where we learned all sorts of techniques to help treat and remove injured patients from wrecked vehicles.  A very attractive football player sat next to me in class, wearing this horrible Louisville hat every Friday morning at 8 am.  Perhaps the hat was why I didn't hit on him sooner?  We had a few flirtatious interactions during the class, but it ended after 8 weeks, and I didn't think much about it, or him.  Until April 5, 2002 when he waltzed into the Richmond Arby's (where I was working the drive thru) to eat dinner, wearing that terrible Louisville Cardinals hat.  I proceeded to tell him (he says flirtatiously, I remember being more rude?) he was not welcome to eat in my store, wearing that piece of crap hat.  I was due for a break and was going to go sit with him and eat, but we were too busy.  I do recall he came back to the counter quite a few times for (probably unnecessary) extra sauce packets.  I thought he'd left without saying goodbye, when I heard his voice in my ear piece, asking to order something else, just so he could come through and talk to me.  I wrote my number on a napkin, and as they say, the rest is history. 
 
  So I am madly in love with a Cards fan.  How can I hate the Cardinals like lots of other Cats fans do? I just can't do it.  Now I find myself cheering for them (eek!  I know!), so long as they aren't playing UK.  I am actually worried that we are breeding Cards fans, though try as I might to dress them in blue and teach them to cheer C-A-T-S, Cats, Cats, Cats!  They are daddy's girls, and alas, this puts me in a bad spot.  Bribe them to be Cats fans?  Check.  Buy them cute UK clothes?  Check.  Beg and plead for them to say, "Cats rule and Cards drool?"  Well, I begged, they refused.  I've decided maybe Lilly will be a lawyer when she grows up because she successfully plays both sides, saying she is both Cats and Cards.  I told Carl, we'd better be careful not to push for a choice too much or they'll end up going to college somewhere like UT.  Now THAT would be horrible! (just kidding people!)

  Now it's bracket time, and yes my five year old DID pick the Lehigh/Duke upset, as well as several other heralded upsets this past weekend.  Our brackets probably won't win any money, but a little family friendly competition is what started this household, and I wouldn't change it for the world!!

The gift of milk!

  Its pretty obvious by now I have been a little obsessed with my journey with breastfeeding.  It hasn't been a very pleasant ride, and once I made the decision to stop the insanity and just give it up, I have felt better emotionally.  I am still sad that I can't be the one to nourish my child like God intended, but I am comforted by the fact that I did quite seriously try everything to help it work for us.  I have also been immensely comforted by my friends and family who have shared their stories of trials and triumphs with breastfeeding.  Its lovely when women can breastfeed successfully, and its also nice to hear the stories of other's struggles and feel not so alone.  If you were one of those people who shared, cared and encouraged, thank you. 

  The best part about stopping breastfeeding has been a huge reduction in my stress level.  I have still been a little misty-eyed about the situation, but merely accepting the situation for what it is has really been a big stress relief.  Add to that, Carl has been able to be even more hands on and share the feedings with me, which is nice in the middle of the night.  We also were blessed with quite a few sample cans of formula from the doctors office, so we haven't had any costs there yet.  Even better has been the gift of an amazing best friend.   I am lucky to have lots of good friends in my life, and four people I would list as my best friend.  One of these people has given us a great gift.  She has been blessed with an abundance of breast milk for her 9 month old son Jude.  She came to our house last night with three bags full of frozen breast milk and jokingly called herself the breast milk fairy.  Breane Breidert has been my best friend since the day we met in October of 2000.  She is such a special person to me, and I don't know if I will ever be able to repay her for this great gift!  I am so grateful that she has been willing to share with Avery the best nutrients nature makes!!  We are so lucky!  Thank you Aunt Breane, from the bottom of my heart!! 

Breastfeeding highs and lows....

  What a roller coaster these past two weeks have been.  Mothering three has been harder and more joyful than I could have imagined.  Its funny how hard it is to accept the things God has put in my path.  I wanted so badly to have a son, but God saw fit to give me another daughter, and now I can't fathom any other baby in her place.  She has this beautiful disposition with dark eyes so expressive sometimes I feel like I can see her tiny baby soul.  So far, she seems to have a very laid back spirit and I love how the chaos of our lives doesn't seem to bother her in the slightest.  Carl and I joke she seems more restless at night, not because she has her days and nights confused, but because its too quiet in the house and she can't sleep!!  I also wanted so badly a natural birth, and of course you know, I didn't get that either.  I am healing pretty well from surgery, so its easier not to be disgruntled about the loss of that dream.  Perhaps my biggest wish, was to be successful at breastfeeding #3.  I struggled with both the other girls and I gave up very early on.  I was determined to make this breastfeeding thing work.

  At 5 days old, we had our first check-up and the doctor noted she had lost weight (which is expected) but not too much.  We met with a lactation consultant, who really boosted my confidence as she watched us nurse.  She praised Avery's latch and at the time she ate very eagerly.  The next two days started a downhill slide that I didn't really see happening.  I was worried because Avery wasn't really having as many wet or dirty diapers as I thought she should.  When she did have a wet diaper I was even more concerned because I could tell the urine was way more concentrated than it should be.  I continued to nurse on demand and she latched and ate well, though she tired easily and I had to try to wake her a lot.  We spent a large part of those two days skin to skin, hoping her nakedness would encourage her to eat!  Seems she is a typical Breidert with a good body temperature and enjoyed her nakedness!  Two days later, we saw a different doc who was immediately discouraged.  She checked Avery's diaper and said bad news.  "That is "day 2" baby poop, and she should be having "day 7" baby poop"-basically she was getting dehydrated and not taking in enough fluids.  She watched us nurse in office, watched us struggle to wake her.  She gave us tips on waking her, supplementing her, etc and sent us home with the plan to force her to nurse every two hours round the clock and when finished nursing Dad should give her supplemented formula  (1-3 ounces) and I should pump at the same time to help establish my milk supply.  She said I was dangerously close to "drying up", unbeknownst to me.  So we did this.  The next 12 hours were horrible.  Her dehydration had gotten so bad, not only could I not rouse her to nurse, we could barely rouse her to take a bottle.  We had her naked, with a wet cold wash cloth and still it was hard to get her to take in more than a swallow or two.  Still no pee or poop, and we nearly took her to the hospital.  Carl and I diligently spent the next day setting alarms and force feeding Avery, and eventually she perked up and filled up some diapers for us.  It was pretty scary, and made worse by my misplaced feelings of failure.  I continued to pump, getting out a whopping 5 ml total every two hours.  I know babies are more efficient at removing milk than a pump, but a teaspoon just seemed so disheartening! 

  Fast forward to this past Monday.  I was sent a link to an article by a friend suggesting a link between women with PCOS and a low milk supply. 

http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/pcos.html

http://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/article-pcos.aspx

  Thanks for reading if you made it this far into my very long vent.  Its just been weighing so hard on my mind and spirit, it feels good to get it all out.  Also, I know PCOS effects up to 15% of the population, and I know sometimes a third of those moms have issues with low milk supply.  I wish I'd known that when I was struggling to breastfeed Lilly five years ago.  I hope the information is helpful to anyone else who could be effected.